Greetings!
I’ve added four new backgrounds, including one that was actually drawn by hand.
Lately I’ve been exploring some get-rich-quick schemes. My favorite so far has been Google Adsense, which (theoretically) paid me $0.49 for doing nothing! Hurray! Sadly, I removed the advertisements once I learned that at my current rate of income it would have taken 16 years before I got my first check. Another hiccup in the plan was that the advertisements were totally unrelated to the content of the site. When I first posted the ads, I got some pretty hilarious results.
Buy a car! Date a Muslim! Buy some anti-wrinkle cream! Treat your spinal decompression! Ever wanted to have your DNA tested in the Netherlands? Now you can! Or perhaps since you enjoy free stationery you’d also like to purchase a cryogenic processor! It’s no wonder I didn’t make any damn money.
The robots used to index websites are not that bright, and my site has two things robots do not understand: images and eclecticism. Robots index text, ie not pictures, and this site is like 90% pictures. Also, when robots are confronted with posts like this one, entitled “Ricky Gervais in a Cavernous Laundromat,” their robot brains explode and they assume my visitors are viewing the post because they want to own their own laundromat. Despite having a wealth of original content and getting a healthy number of daily hits, search engines don’t seem to know quite what to do with me or my wacky site.
This is by no means a recent problem for me. Amazon.com’s robots seem to have the same problem when they recommend books for me to read. I know this because they suggested I read an English-Swahili dictionary and something written by Ann Coulter. No matter how much I tell the iTunes “Genius” that I don’t own or want to own any Frank Sinatra music, it never seems to learn. C’est la vie.
In conclusion, Google owes me 49 cents that I will never ever see. Google’s going on the same list as that kid in middle school who borrowed 50 cents from me and never paid it back. You know who you are.*
*Actually you probably don’t. But I hope you enjoyed your free chocolate milk.
Yours,
Sarah
