Royal Parade of Awesome Hats

Apr 30


I tried to watch the royal wedding live but I passed out around 4 AM. I didn’t see the whole ceremony until later, and on the second go I took a lot more notice of the parade of funny looking hats pouring into Westminster Abbey.
Princess Beatrice is getting mocked a bit for wearing a particularly ridiculous hat, and the hat’s turning into a meme. But I kind of love it when people wear crazy hats. Does everybody remember when Aretha Franklin wore a crazy hat? Good times.

Best wishes to the newlyweds!

I Blame Sonny Bono for the Mix-up

Apr 28

Oh hi.

Here are seven new backgrounds for you!

I don’t usually do colorways of the same design, but that floral just looked too good for me to decide. I took all the photos last week, during the height of allergy season, which involved a lot of sneezing. You see, I suffer for my art!

There’s also a pattern with the chorus from the song "California Here I Come." I don’t know if the song is under copyright or not. If I go by the date it was written, it’s public. If I go by the date it was first recorded, it may not be in the public domain until 2019. So it’s probably fine, but if not then I blame Sonny Bono for the mix-up.

I got ahold of a book of paper toys last week, and I thought, I COULD MAKE THESE MYSELF. And so I tried. Seven discarded printouts later, I had my own little creature- a smiling, goofy-looking house. Just print, cut, fold and glue to make your own paper friend. This fellow’s based on a fabric I’ve been selling for a while now.
There are about a million paper toys already available on the internet, but ummm… now there’s a million and one. I’m late for the paper toy party but at least I showed up!

May You Live in Interesting Times

Apr 15


Here’s a new wallpaper for you- MAY YOU LIVE IN INTERESTING TIMES. I’ve heard it’s an ancient Chinese curse (though no one seems to be able to attribute it to China). This thing took ages to make, and I exhausted all my resources for public domain images.

Also, five new backgrounds. Four of them have a nautical theme. Did you know that the Titanic sank 99 years ago today?

Also I made a background of the cutouts from the wallpaper, since there was some good color to be had.

In my next life I’ll be a minimalist who finds harmony in beige and taupe. They say taupe is very soothing.

The Beat Goes On…

Mar 26

Greetings and salutations.
Today I’m here to introduce you to the newest paper doll available for download: Betty the Beatnik!

You can dress her up in five tops, four bottoms, a dress, a neck scarf, and a beret (all in black, naturally). She also comes with some jazz LPs, a copy of On the Road and a package of Pall Malls.

In the course of making this I discovered that there’s a fine like between looking like a Beatnik and looking like a stereotypical French woman (berets and horizontal stripes for all!) I think Betty here could almost pass for modern were it not for the crazy granny underwear. I also discovered that my mother once went as a Beatnik for Halloween, circa 1959. So today I continue the family tradition of gently mocking the Beat Generation.


I Can’t Resist Blinding Colors

Mar 23

Well hello.
I’ve added eight new backgrounds for you.
I spent some time making faux-Rorschach inkblots on computer paper using acrylic paint. They don’t resemble their inspiration all that much because I couldn’t resist adding some blinding colors.

Have a good day!

A Half-assed Update about Macerated Wheat

Feb 28

Hi. I’ve only got four new backgrounds for you this time.

I was working on making more but then I realized that I hadn’t posted an update the entire month of February and felt guilted into posting these early.

One of the backgrounds is a collection of old advertisements found in the back of science magazines printed between 1917 and 1923. This background took an enormous amount of time to make and it involved me typing out full-scale promotions for such products as vacuum hats, canoe glue, and macerated wheat. And in the end I had to shrink the damn thing so much you can’t even read all the amazing things these terrible products promise. Oh well. It was not a golden age for advertising.
I am working on creating a new wallpaper, but the new image is so large that my poor old computer
can barely stand to open it. Lately I’ve been reading entire Russian novels while waiting for Photoshop to load (Mr. Karamazov, you old lecher!).


Bad nostalgia for a Mastercard commerical

Jan 24


Here are seven new backgrounds for you.

According to Pantone, the hot new color for 2011 is ‘Honeysuckle’ (AKA pink). But I’m going with my own selection, seafoam green. Not because it’s a flattering color for fashion but because I’m a little sick of pink. Maybe pink should be used sparingly, much like habanero chilies or Botox injections. A little bit goes a long way.

Ciao for now!

I’m just ONE WOMAN for goodness sakes

Jan 6

Somebody wrote me this week and asked me to make some new colors available for the silhouettes I’ve got posted here. So I added two new colors, and four new faces.

Each face is now available in seven different colors and in three different sizes, so there are almost 300 options to choose from (I’m quite the overachiever sometimes). Please let me know if you find any dead links- that was a lot of code and I’m just ONE WOMAN for goodness sakes.


My vast personal library of llama photos

Jan 4

I’ve created eight new backgrounds this time, bringing the total number of patterns I’ve made up to (a pretty ridiculous) 250.

That background with the janitorial supplies pretty much illustrates my 2010. It was a rough year for me. Rough to a point of hilarity (Run out of a burning building? Check. Fend off a gypsy robbery? Check.)

In making the drama llama background I was able to draw entirely from my vast personal library of llama photos. No, seriously. I really have taken an unusually large number of llama-related photos.
Happy New Year’s, everybody! Here’s to 2011! Good riddance, 2010!

I lapse into Spanglish sin razón

Dec 14

I’ve made some new printable gift tags for your Christmas presents. I crammed all the labels together this time so that it takes less effort to cut them out. There are two other sheets of labels also available on this site from previous years, but this particular sheet is muy especial. This year the labels are también disponible en español because ¡porque no! Also I think the words for ‘To’ and ‘From’ are the same in Spanish and Portuguese, so that means they are also disponível em português. Oh yeah that’s right, I’m all international now. En serio.
Download the new PDF or See all available gift tags.

Also I drew a wallpaper.
A really pessimistic wallpaper.

Happy Holidays and Feliz Navidad and all that. I will try to stop lapsing into Spanglish sin razón but I make no guarantees.