About Me

Born in a populous California city, Sarah was a fairly silly child, yet showed an extraordinary talent for ice sculpting at a very young age. By age five she had received her first set of chisels, and had successfully carved a swan, a cherub, and a statue of Jerry Seinfeld. She could also draw some mean stick figures.

Her parents, realizing her talent, shipped her off to a prestigious Italian ice sculpting school. However, on the boat ride over, the ship hit an iceberg, and began to sink. Sarah was rescued from the freezing waters of the Atlantic by some pirates. Raised and educated by pirates, she knew the sea better than any.

One night, when all of the pirates were asleep, she stole the most valuable piece of booty aboard her captor’s ship- a potato in the shape of Abe Lincoln’s head. She then rode away in a lifeboat, and single-handedly took charge of a heavily armored naval ship called The Dairy Queen using only a lawn gnome and piece of cinnamon dental floss. Together with her band of ruffians and scurvy dogs, she plundered and stole from hundreds of unsuspecting citizens along the coast of Chile, all the while managing to evade seven agents of the East India Trading Company.

She sold all of her plunder (including the Abe Lincoln potato) on eBay for bargain prices, and now, having resigned her life of piracy, stays home and trades music on the internet. She updates this website on a regular basis, posting lousy artwork and poor quality photos of tourist attractions in order to disguise her colorful life. She also still draws some pretty mean stick figures.

But Seriously…

My name is Sarah. I live in a suburb of Sacramento, California. I have a degree in graphic design, and my diploma was signed by the Terminator. Okay, technically it was just a stamp of his signature. Damn.